Stars Keep Me Going
by ElevatedSuperstar
Summary: James is feeling insecure, and he deicdes looking at the stars will help. He doesn't realize talking to Carlos is much more efficient.


**Hey guys! I randomly wrote this up earlier and decided to share. Thank you to those who read and reviewed my other stories. I don't think I properly/publically showed my appreciation, so thanks! Also thanks to those of you who added me as a favorite author and set me to their alert lists. It gave me some great self-esteem, and I loved your words of kindness! :)**

**Right, so I don't own the rights to Big Time Rush or anything else you might recognize as, well, not mine. Without further ado, enjoy this random story that came from my mind!**

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_**Stars Keep Me Going**_

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James looked around his silent bedroom. It seemed to him that he was the only one awake. The luminous red numbers on his alarm clock informed him that it was one twenty-two in the morning. Nobody in their right minds would be awake at a time like this.

James slowly and stealthily slid from under his covers, tip-toeing across the room until he reached the other side. After opening the door and exiting, he made sure to turn the knob all the way so the door wouldn't slam. On the other side, he let out a breath of relief.

Once he had reached the door to the apartment, he slid on a pair of his shoes and left quietly. The trip down to the lobby was uneventful, if not a little creepy. But tonight James was too distressed to be to be scared. He exited the hotel and started to walk to Palm Woods Park.

Once he was out of the building, the cool night air hit him forcefully, and he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as the breeze gently pushed his brown hair out of his face. He walked through the park and past the wishing well until he spotted his destination. Palm Woods Hill.

With determination in his mind, James started to scale the mound, tears in the corners of his eyes. He gradually swept them away with the sleeve of his shirt as he climbed through the dewy grass. Moonlight enlightened his path and elongated his shadow as he placed one foot after the other. If only he could reach the top, he'd feel better. He knew it. He hoped. It was his only hope…

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Carlos sat up as he heard somebody come down the hallway. He laid down flat on his back, pulling his blanket up to his chin when somebody reached the apartment door, unaware that he had been on the couch, trying to sleep. But of course he hadn't fallen asleep, because he was too pumped up to shoot the new music video tomorrow. So naturally, he had gone to the living room for a snack, which in turn made him too sleepy to return all the way to his room. So here he was.

Carlos wondered who was up at this time of night. Or was it morning? Oh well, it didn't matter. Through the darkness, he made out a tall figure closing the door. Too tall to be Logan. It must be James or Kendall.

Carlos grabbed his helmet from under his pillow, slapping it on. Then he grabbed his jacket, shoes, and a thick blanket that he draped over his shoulders before heading out. He was too curious for his own good.

Once he left the apartment, Carlos took the stairs, not wanting to alert Kendall or James of his presence. He left the lobby and easily spotted the boy walking alone through the park. The moonlight illuminated his figure, and Carlos saw their hair rustling in the wind. More likely than not, it was James.

Carlos wondered what on Earth his friend was doing out in the park when it was nighttime. Worry immediately settled in his stomach. Was he hurt or sick? Why didn't he tell somebody he was leaving?

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James finally reached the top of the hill, settling down in the grass. He let out a small, visible cloud of air that drifted slowly upwards before disappearing. Then, he looked upwards.

Relief filled his heart when he discovered the night was cloudless. He spotted just what he was looking for, shining brightly in the sky. The stars seemed to wink, and he rubbed his hands together, dazzled by the sight.

Suddenly, he heard movement behind him. Panic and fear made him turn his head sharply, making sure there was no threat. A short silhouette became visible in the night, and James realized it was Carlos. Apparently somebody _was _crazy enough to be up in the middle of the night.

"Hey James, what are you doing out here?" Carlos asked, seating himself by his friend.

James swallowed, becoming unexpectedly nervous. "Looking at the stars." He answered.

"Oh cool." That was all Carlos said. James waited for him to shoot out questions, but it didn't happen. He seemed satisfied with his answer.

"Carlos, why did you follow me out here?" James asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Carlos shrugged simply. "I wanted to know what you were doing in the middle of the night. Besides, you must be freezing."

James hadn't even noticed until it was spoken aloud. His hands felt chapped and he had been absentmindedly trying to rub feeling back into them. He had apparently been too distracted to even think of bringing a jacket. Carlos handed him the thick, wool blanket. James lifted a hand to accept it, but Carlos didn't give it to him. Instead, he wrapped it around him carefully so he didn't have to move from his position.

"Resume." Carlos said, gesturing to the sky. James did so, looking up at the orbs of blinding light. In the back of his mind, he wondered why Carlos was still there. By the time he looked back over to him, he felt the wetness drip out of his eyes.

"James, what's wrong? You can tell me. You know you can trust me with anything!" Carlos was back to his impatient self. James wiped the edges of his eyes, a little touched that Carlos was so concerned with his well-being.

"It isn't a big deal. Really Carlos, it's nothing." But even as he said it, he didn't believe his own words. Sure it wasn't a big deal, but he was still full of unwanted anxiety that he just couldn't shake.

"Come on, I won't tell anyone! Not even Logan! Or Kendall! Or Katie! Or Mama Knight!" Carlos reeled off. His friend fidgeted a little, avoiding eye contact.

"Seriously, it's- it's stupid." He muttered.

"How is it stupid if you're crying?" Carlos asked, his face a mask of concern.

"I just- I'm out here because I…" James let out a sigh. Why was it so difficult to tell his friend this stupid little nagging thing? It was easier to tell him when huge things made him upset. Telling him about a minor feeling of unease just made him feel embarrassed and lame. "Sometimes I wonder… I wonder if… Sometimes I just feel like I mess up too much. I feel like everything I do just crumbles. And I don't know why it's been messing with me, but I just can't shake it, and…" he stopped as a trail of tears suddenly fell from his eyes, catching lightly in his lashes. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"James, you don't mess everything up! Why would you think that?" Carlos asked.

"Lots of reasons! I think about everything I'm involved in, and I don't think I've managed to keep anything going right. My parents got divorced, and there could've been something to stop it… to- to keep it together but I didn't do anything but watch it happen! And then with the band and school-"

Carlos stopped his sudden rush of words. "James, lots of relationships don't work out! There was nothing you could've done. Adults don't understand love like teenagers do!" James wasn't too sure about that, but he allowed Carlos to continue. "I mean, they didn't split up because of you, did they?"

"No, but-"

"Then it wasn't your fault. Please believe me. I'm sure Logan and Kendall would even agree to that, and their like, never wrong."

"Yeah, but I don't know. Sometimes I just think I'm not trying enough, but I am! I can never seem to memorize the dance moves on the first go! And at school during math, I don't even know what's going on half of the time! It just makes me so… frustrated."

Carlos sighed. "James, first of all, you are one of the most talented people I know. And I'm a people person. And you can't judge yourself based on math! Nobody gets it! If we can't understand it, then I think it isn't worth worrying about. Logan can always help us. And you don't have to try hard. I mean, you are an iconic popstar without even trying! Please believe me James."

The taller boy still looked uncertain. Carlos heaved a sigh. "James, people have friends for a reason. When there's something you aren't sure about, we're here. There's lots of times you're there for me and Kendall and Logan. And we're here for you too."

James managed a small smile. "Thanks Carlos. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. But can I ask you something?"

"Sure anything. What's up?"

"Why did you come out here to look at the stars?"

James considered this before answering. "I don't know… I guess because I see the stars blinking like that. There's probably a special word for it, but I don't remember what it is. Anyway, when you look away, it looks like it'll just extinguish completely. But they always manage to keep on shining bright."

"Whoa. That was deep."

James grinned, no trace of his earlier sadness evident but the small amount of redness in his cheeks. "Yeah, I know. Think we can keep this between just us?"

Carlos nodded, finding his feet. "Yeah. But next time you go stargazing, you should wake me up. Or at least take a jacket."

James followed suit, standing from his position. "Deal."

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**I don't even know... I have a problem with generic endings, but here you go! I hope you liked the story, I wrote it because 1. There aren't enough stories with James and Carlos in my opinion and 2. I can sort of relate to it. It isn't the best thing I've written, but here it is anyways. So if you related to it, then yay! And if not, then that's okay, I hope you liked it anyway! Maybe I will go start my chapter story now... Thanks and BYE!**


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